Heck's Month in Review: The Jeltz

MattroStars closer Huston Street celebrates a win over
AC's Gun Show with some takeout from the China Inn.

Parity rules! (Month 1 review continued)

A look at the Jeltz Division’s first month:

MattroStars (3-1, 1334.83 pts for (2nd), 1198.3 pts against (4th), Power Rk: T1)

The defending champs rolled into 2007 with an awful lot of confidence. A 19-5 regular season record, perfect power ranking score of 36 and dominant post-season performance was the culmination of what had been 4 years of frustration – the best regular season team in CWFLB history finally got their crown in 2006. The first two weeks of 2007 were more of the same – easy division wins over longtime nemesis the Limerick Lynchmob (1 of only 2 pre-expansion teams that did NOT have a losing record vs. the MattroStars) and the upstart Hells Kitchen Herzogs. And then lightning struck – some of the “mystique” and “aura” around the ‘Stars took a hit when perennial league doormat The Blunted Stophers stomped them on their home turf in Week 3. Granted, the Stophers had 12 starts that week (12!?!), but still…this was only the second time in 5 years that the Stophers overcame the ‘Stars. The ‘Stars rebounded in Week 4 by stomping the AAA AC’s Gun Show, and has a similar matchup in Week 5 vs. the Slum Lords. But Week 3 will stick in every contender’s mind…the MattroStars CAN be beat…

The MattroStars are cruising behind: Chase Utley (110 pts, #3 2B), Vlad Guerrero (103 pts, #5 OF), and Joe Mauer (94 pts, #T1 C). Carlos Lee figures to be a big part of the offense going forward after the big trade with the Isotopes. On the hill, Roy Halladay (107.2 pts, #7 SP) and Roy Oswalt (102.5 pts, #9 SP) have been their typical, dominant selves, while Huston Street (109 pts, #8 RP) has been the top man out of the bullpen.

Overall batting: 726 points, #5 overall
Overall pitching: 608.83 points, #2 overall

Limerick Lynchmob (3-1, 1330.17 pts for (3rd), 1206.7 pts against (5th), Pwr Rk: T1)

The league’s most consistent squad, the Lynchmob have scored between 306 and 352 points every week. The past 3 weeks, that’s been good enough for the W, making them the league’s hottest team as well, riding a 3 game winning streak into the month of May. In a division that many considered a 3 horse race before the season started (and the Stophers shockingly introduced themselves into the conversation), the Lynchmob quietly and efficiently subdued the 3 pretenders in order, with only the Stophers showing any sort of resistance. The Week 5 match-up with the Hells Kitchen Herzogs will help set up the pecking order going into the 2nd quarter of the season.

The Lynchmob’s finest April performers include: Grady Sizemore (110 pts, #2 OF) despite about 18 snow-outs, Derrek Lee (101 pts, #2 1B, only 1 home run…so what???), and the defensively-challenged Rickie Weeks (99 pts, #4 2B). Jake Peavy has returned to being, as Buster Olney might say, “The Man” (107.7 pts, #6 SP). God knows what he might do with some run support.

Overall batting: 775 points, #2 overall
Overall pitching: 555.17 points, #6 overall

Blunted Stophers (2-2, 1296.33 pts for (4th), 1248.17 pts against (8th), Power Rk: 4)

Has there been a better story in the season’s first month than the Stophers? The Blunted ones were projected to win 6+ games by Rocky in the pre-season, which would have been a 2+ game improvement over a dismal 2006 campaign that saw the team go 4-18. Two consecutive seasons at the bottom of the Jeltz division yielded a bleak outlook for 2007…but give the Stophers credit for one thing. They picked a great year to go in the tank. 2006’s dreadful performance allowed the Stophers the opportunity to draft Daisuke Matsuzaka with the 1st overall pick in the supplemental draft, a rare chance to get an MLB ready starter with such a pick. Dice-K has lived up the hype thus far, striking out over 1 batter per inning and helping the Stophers to their best start in 3 years. And, oh by the way, they outright spanked the MattroStars in Week 3…

Unusually high Stophers include: A-Rod…didn’t mention him above, but…wow (153 pts, #1 3B, #1 overall), Adrian Gonzalez (106 pts, #1 1B), and Russ Martin (94 pts, #T1 C). Only squad with 3 guys leading their respective positional rankings through Week 4. The pitching staff has covered for a mediocre month from staff ace Carlos Zambrano with nice starts by Dice-K (96.5 pts, #14 SP) and Ian Snell (92.5 pts, #18 SP). Chris Ray has pitched in nicely from the bullpen (116.2 pts, #4 RP).

Overall batting: 753 points, #3 overall
Overall pitching: 543.33 points, #7 overall

Hells Kitchen Herzogs (2-2, 1277.33 pts for (5th), 1233.17 pts against (6th), PR: 5)

The Herzogs are another team that had high hopes out of the gate after an offseason of wheeling and dealing. A Week 1 6-point loss to the Stophers was a rude awakening – titles are not won in February. The team mustered only 188 points in losing to the MattroStars in Week 2…an 0-2 start looked like big trouble for the team picked in the preseason as the 3rd best in the league. Luckily, health came in the form of back-to-back tilts against AC’s Gun Show and the Norris Slum Lords, the league’s two worst teams. Two weeks and two thrashings later, the ‘zogs are up against the Limerick Lynchmob in Week 5 for a chance to be right back in position for a 2nd quarter run.

The April Herzog stars include: Carlos Beltran (112 pts, #1 OF) and…um…well, offensively, that’s about it. Some underachievers include Victor Martinez, Carlos Delgado, and Brad Hawpe. On the mound, the ‘zogs have seen nice Aprils from several guys – Ted Lilly (97.5 pts, #12 SP), Chris Capuano (89 pts, #24 SP) and especially John Maine (114.2 pts overall, #3 SP), whom the Herzogs missed out on 30 points. And of course Jonathan Papelbon has given ‘zogs owners Andrew Cooper and Jesse Weiss “Papelboners” every time he enters a game, as his 110.2 points ranks him 6th among RPs.

Overall batting: 670 points, #8 overall
Overall pitching: 607.33 points, #3 overall

AC’s Gun Show (1-3, 1134.67 pts for (11th), 1316.0 pts against (11th), Power Rk: 11)

The Gun Show has made no bones about it – 2007 is a rebuilding year. After making an effort to win some games in the first half of 2006, this expansion team started stockpiling prospects with ETAs of 2008 and beyond. The retooling continued over the offseason, with several trades designed to get rid of established major leaguers in lieu of first round draft picks and young players with potential. The first round haul included highly regarded prospects like Tim Lincecum (SP, Giants), Clayton Kershaw (SP, Dodgers), and Reid Brignac (SS, D-Rays). Now it’s a game of wait and see for Breig and AC as they pray for health and performance out of their minor leaguers while their active guys do their best to provide another high draft pick.

Flexing their muscles: Young Marlins Dan Uggla (86pts, #10 2B) and Josh Willingham (84 pts) are off to decent starts, but otherwise there’s not a whole lot to get excited about. The strength of the Gun Show in April was the bullpen, featuring a dominant Francisco Cordero (137.2 pts, #1 RP) and the "Pillsbury Throw-Boy," Bobby Jenks (112.3 pts, #6 RP).

Overall batting: 648 points, #10 overall
Overall pitching: 486.67 points, #10 overall

Norris Slum Lords (1-3, 1080.17 pts for (12th), 1251.17 pts against (9th), Pwr Rk: 12)

That brings us to the Slum Lords. What can you say about a team that hasn’t broken 300 points in a week through the end of April? They have not yet put up a score in the top 6 for any given week – only a slim win over the Stophers in Week 2 has kept the Slum Lords from the dreaded April O-fer. The scary part about owner Carlo Cognata’s squad right now is that they aren’t very good, but they’re not really rebuilding either. Leading pitcher Tom Glavine is 58 years old, and the staff boasts other AARP members like Mike Mussina, Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez, and closers Trevor Hoffman and Billy Wagner. I smell Fire Sale!

Residing in the high-rent district: Four Slum Lords are actually off to nice starts – Matt Holliday (102 pts), The O-Dog (93 pts), Adam Dunn (97 pts), and Prince Fielder (81 pts) are pacing the offense. Unfortunately, the rest of the squad has been dreadful, including the high-priced Michael Young, Alfonso Soriano and Bill Hall. Can these guys turn it around? Carlo better hope so. The Lords have also managed to use 4 catchers in 4 weeks. Now that’s hard to do. And the pitching? Well, relying on Tom Glavine to anchor your staff (84.7 pts) has to be a concern.

Overall batting: 603 points, #12 overall
Overall pitching: 477.17 points, #11 overall

Tomorrow: Odds and ends from Month 1…