Week 1 Review

I put up how many points? And we still lost???

Week 1 Review

Going to spare you the pithy commentary and stick to the numbers, pure and simple. Not as much time this week as I’ve had in recent weeks, so maybe I’ll be able to expand this in the future. We’ll see.

Satanists (1-0) d. Lynchmob (0-1) 456 - 429.83

Satanists hang on to best division rival Lynchmob…

Satanists MVP – OF Carlos Quentin – 43 actual points, 25 projected (+18)

Satanists LVP – RP Ryan Franklin – 6.83 actual points, 26 projected (-19). 3 Blown Saves.

Max possible score – 504

C - JP Arencibia in, Buster Posey out (+6)

OF – Chris Coghlan in, Jason Kubel out (+14)

SP – Aaron Crow in, Ryan Dempster out (+10.34) (who woulda thunk that one?)

RP – Alexi Ogando in, Ryan Franklin out (+17.17)

Lynchmob MVP – 1B Joey Votto – 52 actual points, 37 projected (+15)

Lynchmob LVP – SP Ted Lilly – 8 actual points, 36 projected (-28) (Lynchmob had 4 players underperform projections by over 20 points, 3 of whom underperformed by more than 25)

Max possible score – 556.33 (enough to win)

C – Mike Napoli in, Geo Soto out (+10)

OF – Coco Crisp in, Mike Cuddyer out (+24)

SP – Kevin Correia in, Clay Buchholz out (+40.5!)

SP – Brandon McCarthy in, Ted Lilly out (+24.67)

RP – Joe Nathan in, Matt Thornton out (+27.33)

Mattrostars (1-0) d. Elephant Balls (0-1) 580.17 – 365.5 (Aaaiiieeeeee!)

‘Stars flex their muscle over the impotent Balls…

Mattrostars MVP – Hard to pick just one…RP Joel Hanrahan – 48.67 actual points, 18 projected (+30.67)

Mattrostars LVP – Hard to find one…C Joe Mauer – 16 actual points, 30 projected (-14)

Max possible score – 616

OF – Alex Gordon in, Jay Bruce out (+20)

SP – Edwin Jackson in, Roy Halladay out (+12) (that’s right…Doc wasn’t even a top 5 starter for the ‘stars last week)

SP – Hiroki Kuroda in, Clayton Kershaw out (+3.83) (yeah, Kershaw either)

Mattrostars had SEVEN starting pitchers with 46 points or more.

E-Balls MVP – 2B Ian Kinsler – 44 actual points, 31 projected (+13)

E-Balls LVP – OF Magglio Ordonez – 9 actual points, 30 projected (-21)

Max possible score – 382.83

U – Kelly Johnson in, Magglio Ordonez out (+16)

SP – Kevin Slowey in, Erik Bedard out (+1.33)

And, uh, that’s it…

Brooklyn Blunted B (1-0) d. Rockbusters (0-1) 467.83 – 407.83

The…ahem…self-proclaimed “CWFLB World Series Preview”…

Blunted MVP – C Russell Martin – 42 actual points, 26 projected (+16). 4,283 fantasy players shocked to find that Martin still plays baseball.

Blunted LVP – SP Anibal Sanchez – 8.17 actual points, 32 projected (-25.83)

Max possible score – 487.33

OF – Raul Ibanez in, Curtis Granderson out (+12)

SP – Barry Zito in, Anibal Sanchez out (+7.5)

Rockbusters MVP – SP “The Harangatan” – 43.5 actual points, 10 projected (+33.5) Rockbusters LVP – OF Vernon Wells – 12 actual points, 30 projected (-18) and a crisp 4-40 from the plate

Max possible score – 477.16 (enough to win)

OF – Alfonso Soriano in, Vernon Wells out (+18)

SP – Josh Beckett in, “Big Game” James Shields out (+17.83)

SP – AJ Burnett in, Edinson Volquez out (+15)

SP – Luke Hochevar in, Jonathan Sanchez out (+10.5)

RP – Jordan Walden in, Fernando Rodney out (+8)

T-Baggers (1-0) d. Isotopes (0-1) 496.17 – 431.83

Baggers roll over rebuilding ‘topes as expected…

T-Baggers MVP – OF Jose Tabata – 51 actual points, 26 projected (+25)

T-Baggers LVP – 3B Evan Longoria – 1 actual point, 33 projected (-32) (I know, he got hurt, but the final score don’t care)

Max possible score – 503.83

SP – Randy Wells in, David Price out (+3)

RP – Chris Sale in, Heath Bell out (+4.67)

Isotopes MVP – RP(?) Justin Masterson – 46.17 actual points, 24 projected (+22)

Isotopes LVP – 1B Carlos Pena – 13 actual points, 29 projected (-16)

Max possible score – 440.83

1B – Justin Smoak in, Carlos Pena out (+8)

OF – Austin Jackson in, Jacoby Ellsbury out (+1)

Daddy’s Little Boys (1-0) d. Norris Slum Lords (0-1) 437.83 – 423.67

Daddy steals a win despite a surprisingly mediocre performance…

DLB MVP – RP Huston Street – 51 actual points, 22 projected (+29)

DLB LVP – OF Carl Crawford – 14 actual points, 34 projected (-20)

Max possible points – 493.66

2B – Danny Espinosa in, Ben Zobrist out (+8)

OF – Andrew McCutchen in, Carl Crawford out (+16)

SP – Jeff Francis in, Bud Norris out (+17.83)

SP – Charlie Morton in, Chad Billingsley out (+14)

Lords MVP – SP Jered Weaver – 1 million actual points (okay, 87.33), 39 projected (+48.33)

Lords LVP – SP Ubaldo Jimenez – 3.5 actual points, 42 projected (-38.5). SP Phil Hughes only managed to come up 35 points shy of his projection with a lusty -8 on the week.

Max possible points – 480.67 (enough to win)

OF – Angel Pagan in, Matt Holliday out (with an appendix) (+17)

U – Denard Span in, Kevin Youkilis out (+2)

SP – Clayton Richard in, Phil Hughes out (+28)

SP – Jason Vargas in, Ubaldo out (+10)

Jackrabbits (1-0) d. Snapdragons (0-1) 515.33 – 456.5

Rabbits cruise while Snapdragons post a solid week…

Rabbits MVP – OF Matt Kemp – 48 actual points, 28 projected (+20)

Rabbits LVP – SP Francisco “Ace” Liriano – 6.17 actual points, 29 projected (-22.83)

Max possible points – 552.16

SP – Kyle “Ace” Drabek in, Francisco “Ace” Liriano out (+36.83)

Snappers MVP – RP Matt Harrison – 52 actual points, 19 projected (+33)

Snappers LVP – SS Hanley Ramirez – 15 actual points, 34 projected (-19)

Max possible points – 456.5 – Not sure if you’ve noticed, but the Snappers bench is a little short on Major League talent…

H Tree (1-0) d. Hells Kitchen Herzogs (0-1) 454.17 – 378.5

Week 1’s biggest upset sees the H Tree roll over the ‘zogs...

H Tree MVP – SP Jaime Garcia – 60 actual points, 32 projected (+28)

H Tree LVP – SP Mike Pelfrey - -5.83 actual points, 21 projected (-26.83)

Max possible points – 484.83

SP – Chris Tillman in, Mike Pelfrey out (+30.66)

Herzogs MVP – CBS Sportsline, for allowing them to start RA Dickey at RP. Just kidding! Believe it or not, the biggest overachiever in the starting lineup was…SS Ian Desmond – 29 actual points, 22 projected (+7)

Herzogs LVP – SP Tommy Hanson – 3 actual points, 30 projected (-27)

Max possible points – 442.67

SP – Jeremy Guthrie in, Tommy Hanson out (+38.5)

SP – Chris Young in, “Magic” Wandy Rodriguez out (+25.67)